Photography – Bobby Bense
Model/Styling – Helen Janneson Bense
Location – Sorrento beach, Western Australia
Hat – Ace of Something
Nails – Willow Byron Bay – Use discount code GYPSYLOVINLIGHT at checkout
Hair – The Nest Hair Boutique
I’ve been asked a lot recently from many of you amazing souls following and sharing in my journey about how I found a life of love. I want to share a little of my journey with you all in the hopes that I can inspire you to rediscover your beauty and the shining light of love that you all are.
Firstly, I think that we generally only start to question what is going on when things are not so great. It is these low experiences in our lives that act as the catalysts for transformation. I look back now with pure gratitude for the pain and traumas I have been through in my life. I would not have strived for a life of love without them.
My real low was around 7 years ago, when I experienced complications with my second pregnancy. It all began one night, around 11 weeks in, when I woke up haemorrhaging. I started having contractions, went into shock, and realised that I was losing my child. I was rushed to hospital to discover my little boy was still alive. For the next 27 weeks of my pregnancy I was in and out of hospital, the doctors continuously trying to prevent an early labour. I had to learn to cope with the imminent threat of losing him with no certainty or assurances. I was told the odds were not in my favour, and to prepare myself for the most painful of possibilities. That one hope, that I might make it to term, however dim it was back then, was the light that helped me get through. The painful thoughts of ‘what if’ were so excruciating while I felt my little boy kicking around in my belly. I inevitably pulled myself inwards and focused intently on the beauty of each moment we had together and that he would be ok. I could no longer focus on my painful feelings and give rise to them as they didn’t serve any other purpose than to cause me immense suffering. They weren’t real in that moment, they were just possibilities of an unknown future. I decided (stubbornly) we were going to get through it and that I would endeavour to enjoy the beautiful connection between mother and child regardless of the physical pain I was in. We would make this journey together and hope for the best. These thoughts brought me peace and the ability to find some joy in a pregnancy full of complication. I don’t think any other life experience has taught me more about mind control than this. Living with this for 27 weeks, bed bound each day, bleeding and contracting, reminded how fragile this situation was, yet striving for strength by surrendering to the vulnerability and uncertainty, whilst trying to maintain a positive outlook, was the biggest challenge of my life. I’m happy to say we made it in the end. We managed against medical odds to get to 38 weeks and my beautiful son is now 6 years old.
This experience changed me in many ways. My ability to let go of stressful ‘what if’ thoughts is much easier. I can focus on the beauty of life amidst chaos, and I discovered that the more you focus on the good stuff, and not the bad stuff, the more the bad stuff will actually lose it’s power and start to disappear from your life. Whatever you spend your time thinking about will become your life. So think beautiful thoughts, kind thoughts, grateful thoughts, loving thoughts, joyful thoughts. And when life throws you a curveball, I hope that you can remember at some point to be easy on yourself, and find that light and love within that allows you to move through it with grace and ease.
With love and gratitude,